Counter-Reproduction

As I was poking about on a social networking site the other day, I came across the profile of an acquaintance whose status breathlessly announced, "I'm so excited!!! I am two weeks pregnant!!!" Beside her exclamation was a photo , taken at what looked to be arm's length, of her stomach. It took me a moment to figure out what I was looking at, because I thought at first that she had taken a picture of wallpaper.

I don't usually react with cynicism to these kinds of announcements, but the up-close belly pic irked me. First of all, I could detect no discernible difference in the photo between her abdomen in the picture and what it looked like in the image taken three weeks earlier. Maybe it's just my monitor. I was likewise bothered by the feeling of obligation that the announcement demanded: "Be equally thrilled for me!"

It is exciting that this person is welcoming a second child into the family, I suppose. Parenthood is good - I happen to be a parent. But it is also a personal joy, one that I am glad to hear of, but perhaps without the intimate detail. During her pregnancy, another acquaintance was apt to posting her sonogram photos on her page, from nascent cannelini bean-stage through the last trimester. What ever happened to pleasant profile shots of family pets or, even better, the profile owner's face?

I daresay that the general public will soon be privvy to photos of this girl in the hospital waiting to be be admitted, and probably some in the delivery room during the birth. In fact, she intimated that these scenes are treats we can perhaps look forward to. For myself, I prefer to see the resulting child, rather than to witness something that my cat can accomplish quietly in just under twenty minutes behind the television set.

How to Be a Failure, Part I

People want to believe that the word "failure" carries with it a certain foreboding, a final pronouncement of hopelessness. In fact, it takes a special kind of person to welcome failure; in order to be okay with the idea, one need only envision the possibilities that open up when things don't work out. With a little bit of effort, any of us can become comfortable with the idea of failing, or of being called a Failure.

Consider for a moment a few of the great failures of history. Who comes to mind? Here's a little list that I came up with in the fifteen seconds that I devoted to the question:

• Gen. George Armstrong Custer
• Benedict Arnold
• Ferdinand Von Zeppelin
• John DeLorean
• Napoleon Bonaparte

See? What do all of these men have in common? You might say that they were all delusional, maybe even insane. But the other quality they share is their fame! These men are all famous for failing at the endeavors to which they devoted their lives. Perhaps you feel that this kind of large-scale failure is beyond the grasp of the average person, and you may be right. What we can learn, however, is how to embrace failure gracefully and fearlessly. In the posts that follow, I hope to provide some guidance into such quagmires as: how to respond when others accuse you of failure; dealing with public humiliation; finding ways to exploit your own failure.

Success is easy. Failure is hard. And what do we learn from success? I wouldn't know, but probably not very much.